Kim Kardashian Reflects on Parenting Challenges: 'There Are Nights I Cry Myself to Sleep'
Kim Kardashian is speaking candidly about challenges she faces as a mom. In an exclusive clip shared with PEOPLE from an upcoming episode of the On Purpose with Jay Shetty podcast, The Kardashians star, 42, opens up about life raising her four kids she shares with ex Kanye West — daughters North, 9, and Chicago, 5, plus sons Saint, 7, and Psalm, 4. After host Jay Shetty asks Kardashian what parenting is like for her now, versus what she thought it would be like before she had kids, the SKIMS founder says, "Everyone says the days are long and the years are short, and that couldn't be like a more true statement." "So, like, when you're in it, I mean, especially when they're babies and you're feeding ... there's madness going on. It's like full madness," she continues. "It's the best chaos though." Detailing that "you have no idea what's going on" in the mornings, Kardashian adds, "It's like I always have to do one of my daughter's hair — and it has to be perfect and it has to be a certain way — and then this one needs me to put his shoes on and they all need you. ... It's like full crazy madness, cooking, running around. Like, it's wild." Continuing to speak candidly about her role as a mother, Kardashian then tells Shetty, 35, that "parenting is the thing that has taught me the most about myself." "It has been the most challenging thing," she continues. "There are nights I cry myself to sleep. Like, holy shit, this f---ing tornado in my house. Like, what just happened?" "You know, with all the moods and the personalities and sometimes they're fighting, and you know, there's no one there," Kardashian adds. "Like, it's [just] me to play good police officer and bad cop." Though she told Shetty that she is working on "being a little bit firmer" as a parent, Kardashian couldn't help but admit, "Parenting is really f---ing hard." "That's the only way I can describe it," she says. "It is the most rewarding job in the entire world. It is. There is nothing that can prepare you. ... I don't care how long you wait. I don't care what you're waiting for. You are never prepared." "But," Kardashian continues, "you will figure it out, and it will make you so proud of yourself that you figured it out and that you got through the day."